Nightmares and Dreams of Love
by beaucoup riant
Summary: He had to live 1000 years with the same memory and spent his life looking for the angel he had fallen in love with, Sakura. Now he found her but she does not remember their love. Now he has to make her. Full Summary Inside
1. Prelude

Nightmares and Dreams of Love

By: Lazi n Lonely Rei

Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, that belongs to CLAMP. I do however own this story.

Author's Notes: This is my very first CCS fanfic so I hope you all enjoy it. I've written fanfic and stories for a long time now so I just hope my writing gets better. Anyways review!

To clear a few things, when its like "_This"_ it means it was said in a past life, or someone from his past.

Everything else is standard.

**FULL SUMMARY**

He lived for a 1000 years, each life time he was born again into the same body, same family name, and with the same memories. It was a curse. It was a punishment for what he had done to the woman he loved. And within his 1000 years of life, he looked for her time and time again to get a chance to explain and to get her to fall in love with him again. The Great Angel, Sakura, has been reborn in his last lifetime before his punishment is up. She does not remember him, however, and he only has this life to make her fall in love with him again. Before he is sent to hell…

I did something horrible when I first lived. I fell in love with an angel, an angel who came from a different world and a beautiful angel. It was against logic and reality to even be with an angel, but because she was a different type of an angel, it was allowed. She was half human and half angel. A powerful being because her human mother was a powerful witch and her father was the Guardian of the Gates. She had a human body, she would live forever in her form and she was happy.

I was born mortal with great powers. My family, the Li Clan, was very powerful. We ruled China and a lot of trading routes. We were very skilled in magic, both men and women, and we were very smart. Though the women were smart, they could not fight. It was against Chinese traditions. My mother changed all that when she, herself, took hold of the title of the head of the clan and became the first women to learn both magic and martial arts.

When she had me, it was decided by everyone including my mother I was going to be the strongest and the head of the clan. Already when I was born, I was put with a lot of pressure.

The pressure was gone when I met Sakura.

I was in heaven every time I was near her.

I was in heaven when I fell in love with her.

And I entered hell when I betrayed her.

For what I did I was given a punishment of living for 1000 years. Each time I was born, I was born into the same family, given the head title, given the same name and at the age of seven, I would remember everything of my past life. Each life I was put into, I spent nearly most of my time looking for the woman I had betrayed and fallen in love with.

For what I did to her, she was put to death to be given birth at a random time. This time simply as a witch. For what I did to her, she was given the ultimate punishment, to lose half of what her life was suppose to be, to lose her destiny and to never have a destiny.

It was hell back and front compared to mines.

And I would spend my life looking for her, hoping to find her to make her fall in love with me again, because when she was to be born again, she would've lost everything from her past life but her name.

I spent many of my life getting a job, devouring other women in pleasures to stop thinking of her, but when I woke up, I always returned to my search of my angel.

I had only waited, died and reborn, to the end of my punishment. It was my last life before I was given my Judging. To be entered to Hell or The Gates.

And Hell would be nothing compared to never having been able to find my angel.

But I found her. I found her at last.

It was not longer the times of magic. She wasn't going to be born as a witch but a mere human. Given no destiny and spending her life utterly lost about who she was and how to live her life. She would have no dreams and no hope. She would be given nothing but to live and than to die.

It was the 21st century, and I had already been born in that century before to really be alienated to the new things.

I was once again in college. I went to the best college in China who had a lot of transfers of Japanese people. Most of them were girls and I would once in a while sleep with them.

But I never fell in love because I always heard her in my dreams say, _"I love you."_ Every time I touched a woman lovingly, or even close to it, I heard her say, _"Please just hold me."_ It killed me.

It was like I had betrayed her all over again.

This was how everything happened….

Author's Notes: Well I'm going to give you a head's up. This story is about the first part of the story. When both Sakura and Syaoran were both alive. When Sakura was still half angel and half human. When this story is done, I'm going to put a sequel up of the 1000 years of Syaoran and how he meets Sakura again.

REVIEW!


	2. Lonely Existences and Angels

**Nightmares and Dreams of Love**

**Author's Notes:** Yes a long time since I've updated, I know! But if you go into my profile, you will see that I've been updating almost all of my stories! DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own CCS just the story.

**Summary:** He lived for a 1000 years, each life time he was born again into the same body, same family name, and with the same memories. It was a curse. It was a punishment for what he had done to the woman he loved. And within his 1000 years of life, he looked for her time and time again to get a chance to explain and to get her to fall in love with him again. The Great Angel, Sakura, has been reborn in his last lifetime before his punishment is up. She does not remember him, however, and he only has this life to make her fall in love with him again. Before he is sent to hell…

**Important to Remember:** This is the beginning of how everything happens, in Syaoran's first life when he first meets Sakura. This is the story of their love before it's shattered. This is told from a 3rd person point of view because I suck at doing it in first person.

**.:Beginning:.**

Syaoran Li was a powerful man of twenty. He was at a height of six two. He was very intelligent and strong, skilled in many things such as martial arts, music, business…everything a future clan leader needed to know. But Syaoran Li was lonely. He had a cold heart that contained love for very few people. He had three close friends, but he has lived in a lonely existence. He has never found a woman to love, never a woman that loved him for himself anyways.

The day was just beginning and he sat beside the lake, glittering beneath the sun. He sat alone on the plush green grass, beneath the shade of a cherry blossom tree. Syaoran had just finished his morning training and was now taking a break. It was the only time of the day he had to himself.

Syaoran sighed and relaxed his muscles as he closed his eyes. His family had been going through a very tough time as one of his cousin was suffering in a rare disease that seemed to have no medicine for it. There was a lot of pain and he often heard her scream in anguish. There wasn't any known medicine to relieve her of her pain. But his mother hung on to hope, praying in the temple for five hours a day for something to come along to help. It's been a week and the family was losing hope. They had even suggested to Yelen Li, his mother, that they end the child's suffering by killing her.

But he was against it, as his mother was as well. The Elders and himself had agreed that if nothing got better within a month, they would give her a small dose of medicine that would put her to sleep…forever.

Syaoran's heart clenched. He didn't want his cousin to die. They were very close as they were born only two months apart. Her long black hair and bright red eyes were glowing with life until she had been stricken.

Now Meling Li was pale and in constant pain as she laid in a large bedroom with people constantly trying to take care of her.

Suddenly a strange sound rang in his ears. It sounded like a strange whistle. Syaoran snapped his eyes opened to see something white falling from the sky, straight into the lake.

He stood up quickly as it descended further down and just as he closed his eyes in fear that it would hit the water and splash him, nothing came.

Syaoran opened his eyes to see the flash of white circle around the lake. He heard a faint laugh and a "WEEE!"

He squinted to try to make out the creature. It had two large white wings and one of the tip was dipped in the water of the lake. Before he could make anything else of it, it flew towards him.

To his surprise, it was a girl…with wings! She glided down gently in front of him. Syaoran couldn't help but gasp in shock. He stared at her in awe.

The girl was up to his shoulder, at most. She was very slim and had shoulder length auburn hair with large sparkling emerald eyes. The large white wings curled and it seemed like they wrapped her in a protective bubble.

The girl in front of him flashed a dazzling smiling. A hand reached out towards him and Syaoran stared at the arm. She had a perfectly tanned skin and on her wrist was a bracelet with bells on them. It wasn't made out of metal…it looked like glass that shimmered different colors in the light. Her fingers were long and flexible with long perfectly trimmed nails.

He sensed a powerful but alluring aura that was casted upon her. However Syaoran could not calculate exactly how powerful it was.

"I'm Sakura and I've been sent to answer someone who has been calling The Guardians for a very long time now." Her voice was melodic, soft and sweet.

Syaoran gasped again. Before he knew what he was saying, he choked out, "You're an angel?!"

Sakura laughed and pulled her hand back, realizing that he wasn't going to take it. She nodded and stared at the man in front of her. "May you take me to Yelen Li, please?"

**.:Later:.**

The entire household was in shock as Sakura told her story.

(AN: Italics mean past. So you are now hearing about Sakura's story after she has told it.)

_I am the daughter of a powerful immortal witch and The Guardian of Gates angel. I live in the Heavens with my father. My mother, although immortal, has passed away when she gave birth to me. My older brother is one of the Guardians. I am an angel with powers, much different than the angels you've heard stories about. The Head Guardian has requested that I help your family in your call for help. I'm not sure why but I'd be very happy to help. _

Sakura, after finishing her story, smiled at everyone. Her wings disappeared and told everyone she found it awkward to have everyone stare at them. So now Sakura and Yelen Li was talking.

"May you take me to Meling then, please?" She asked sweetly.

**.:Meling's Room:.**

Syaoran watched as Sakura, the angel, sat at the bedside of Meling. Her cousin had been screaming in pain previously but when Sakura entered the room, she settled and smiled. It had been the first time Meling had been able to feel relief from the pain.

Meling must've found it strange as well because she summoned the energy to open her eyes. She saw Sakura's emerald eyes staring right back.

"Hello, Meling. I am here to help you." Sakura told her as she reached for Meling's hand.

Meling gave her a glare and pulled her hand back. She spat, "No one can help me. There's no medicine for my pain."

Sakura simply smiled and told her, "But I am not a no one. I am an angel who has come to help you. If you do not accept my help then I can not extend it. So, would you rather die than take one more chance and let me help you?"

Meling took a side glance at Syaoran who nodded. "She's an angel, Meling. I saw her wings myself."

Meling looked at Sakura skeptically and with a laugh, Sakura's wings appeared once more. Meling's eyes widened before a wave of pain hit her again. Her eyes clenched shut with her body wrenching in pain, she pleaded for Sakura to end it all.

"End your life, or end your pain?" Sakura whispered as her face hovered over Meling's. Sakura closed her eyes and leaned closer to Meling.

She blew a breath at Meling that came out a very light pink, a color so light it could've past as white. The breath turned into a soft breeze as it extended and covered both Sakura and Meling.

Sakura's large white wings closed around both of them and the entire room turned blinding white. Syaoran watched through the blinding light as best as he could. He could hear the faint whispers of a song.

And just as suddenly as it happened, the light disappeared and so did Sakura's wings. Syaoran rushed to Meling's bedside where she was pale, still, and breathless.

Syaoran grabbed Sakura's shoulders and shook her, hard. "YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED HER!" He screamed at her.

He stopped shaking her when she touched his hand. "Wait." She whispered. Sakura's emerald eyes closed and another wind blew by both of them although no windows were opened.

Syaoran shivered as he felt something powerful surge around the room. The hairs on his neck stood up and his mind was spinning, what could be going on?

"Syaoran, I'm fine." A soft, hoarse voice said. Syaoran turned around with wide eyes to see Meling sitting up in her bed with a small tired smile across her face.

Everyone brust from the closed doors and screamed in glee as they hugged Meling. In the corner of his eye, Syaoran could see Sakura standing far away from the bed with a smile.

Something about her drew him to her. Every time he looked at her, his heart thumped heavily that he could hear it beating within him.

**.:End Chapter:.**

Author's Notes: So what did you guys all think? Review! And of course any of your suggestions or ideas would be much appreciated. And of course your love is even better. Thanks!


	3. The Prince Charming Should Be A Frog

**Nightmares and Dreams of Love**

**Author's Notes:** Third chapter! I don't think I've ever updated a story this fast before. Anyways, REVIEW! Thank you for everyone who has reviewed, I appreciated it very much.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own CCS just the story.

**Summary:** He lived for a 1000 years, each life time he was born again into the same body, same family name, and with the same memories. It was a curse. It was a punishment for what he had done to the woman he loved. And within his 1000 years of life, he looked for her time and time again to get a chance to explain and to get her to fall in love with him again. The Great Angel, Sakura, has been reborn in his last lifetime before his punishment is up. She does not remember him, however, and he only has this life to make her fall in love with him again. Before he is sent to hell…

**.:Beginning:.**

Auburn hair blowing, mingling with the wind, she hummed to herself as she took a leisure stroll around the large mansion. Everything about this place held some magic, Sakura could tell. However, soft whispers blew around her ears as she walked deeper into the mansion. This place was magic, but something was wrong with it.

'I wonder why Uncle had sent me here.' Sakura wondered. (AN: Angels in my story call the Head Guardian "father" or "uncle" it represents how close you are to the Head Guardian. But because Sakura's father is an angel, she calls the Head Guardian "Uncle" although she's very close to him.)

There were minor things special about this place but she knew that it wasn't special enough for an angel of her level to be here. The gardens below called to her and delighter her emerald eyes. It was a beautiful garden!

Elated at discovering a garden, Sakura rushed down the stairs and out into the sunshine. She giggled to herself and took a deep breath of luscious scents of exotic flowers. In Heaven, there are no gardens. Although it's beautiful, there's a captivating beauty on Earth itself.

Sighing, she laid down on the grass next to the jasmines. She stared at the crystal blue skies and sighed once again. 'Uncle hasn't called me back yet but if the Li family doesn't want me around, I can always go back.'

Suddenly Sakura felt something enter the garden. Sakura sat up and a couple of feet away she could see a tall man approach her. It was none other than Syaoran. He said nothing to her as he sat down beside her, knees drawn up.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you previously." He whispered, it had been so quiet, Sakura had to strain to hear.

His amber eyes turned to look at her. Sakura smiled at him gently and laid back down. She said nothing, as he knew she would. Syaoran stiffly laid down beside her on the grass, staring at the drifting clouds.

"Are you always quite so stiff?" Her soft melodic voice asked him.

"What do you mean?"

"Your aura seems very cold and it is in such a thick level, it acts as if it's a shield for you. I can tell that you don't open up to people easily. But really, I'm sure when in such a beautiful and relaxing place such as your garden, you could take the tension away. It disturbs the peace the garden draws in." Sakura told him as she rolled onto her stomach and rested her head on her arms.

Syaoran said nothing and continued to stare up at the sky. A slow but relaxed air was between them and both of them said nothing.

He's handsome, Sakura thought. 'For a mortal.' A small voice in her head bit at her. She ignored it and shushed it. She liked to stare at him, her eyes were captivated with him. It was like he was an angel himself. He was muscular, she could tell from how his arms were beneath his head and his muscles flexed. A strong jaw and a beautiful golden tan, as if he was a child of the sun.

"What's it like up there?" He asked as he looked at her. Sakura smiled at him again and rolled back onto her back. A moment of silence before she courageously scooted closer to him.

"It's spring all the time up there. There's never any rain or snow. Above you could see a dark sky with stars even though it's full of nothing but light there. There's no night time and every moment is basked in the sun. The ground is made out of clouds and well…they tend to drift away a lot! But they always come back, so you're always traveling almost. It's always relaxing there." Sakura told him, telling it to him almost as if she was telling a child a story.

"So you've never seen the moon before?"

"I have, only from down here though. And it's beautiful. I love the sunset and the night time down here."

"You don't have sunsets there?"

"Nope, no sunrises either. I've only seen it once from down here on Earth when my father took me to visit my mother's grave…for the first and last time. It was beautiful, I had wished I could see it every day."

"I never really took time to really notice it." Syaoran admitted. Sakura gasped and sat up, she stared at him with her mouth slightly opened.

"No way!"

Syaoran laughed suddenly at her expression. "What? It's just a silly sunset."

He sat up with her and stared at her emerald eyes that had nothing but light that flicked back and forth between the depths of her orbs.

"The worst things about you mortals is that you never enjoy the beauty of the simple things. You find beauty in diamonds, money, and power. If you take just a moment to enjoy, say, the flowers or the grass, or how sunny it is outside, you find that you are happier than you would be if you were surrounded by money."

Syaoran's mouth slighted up a little, his way of smiling. He stared at the wall of the garden and he found that he agreed with the angel.

"Then would you like to see a sunset on the beach? I hear it's the most beautiful thing." Syaoran asked without looking at her.

"What's a beach?" Sakura asked. Syaoran gaped at her and she laughed. "Howabout you just show me? You must understand that I'm from a place where it's practically all white! But I would very much love to go."

Syaoran nodded. "And I'll try to enjoy it."

Sakura laughed, "I would hope so considering you will be in my lovely company!"

"There's nothing lovely about you at all!" He teased.

"And I'm sure women don't find you in the least charming." Sakura retorted back with a smile.

"Oh but they do. I'm China's Prince Charming!"

"Well we better find Cinderella to inform her that the Prince should be turned back to a frog!" Sakura joked.

And for once, Syaoran dropped her aura completely and laughed with the most beautiful being he has ever seen, Sakura.

**.:Later: Inside The Mansion:.**

"Sakura! I would like to thank you for saving my niece!" Yelen Li could not contain her happiness as her face beamed with happiness. "And for that, I have arranged to throw a ball tonight!"

Sakura bowed, "Madame Li, it is unnecessary. It's been an-"

"I just got up and better! I want to party. And surely, Angel Sakura, shall join me. The Li family is most thankful for everything and would like you to stay with us for much longer than tonight." The new voice made Sakura turn around. It was Melin, dressed in a silk red Chinese gown with matching red slippers. Her hair was tied in twin bun pig tails.

"Please, call me Sakura. And if your family request it, I have no choice but to allow myself to stay. Thank you." Sakura said with a smile.

"Great! Than I would like you to meet Tomoyo! She'll make a lovely gown for you in no time!" Melin said and just after she finished her statement, a girl that looked like Melin's age came out.

Tomoyo, Sakura assumed, was beautiful. She had porcelain skin and violet eyes with dark hair. She was petite and wore a simple but elegant dark violent Chinese gown. A man came up beside her with dark midnight blue eyes with matching eyes with glasses framing them.

"Eriol!" Sakura exclaimed and rush over to give him a hug.

"You know of my husband?" The voice came from Tomoyo as she stared at Sakura with questioning eyes. Her voice was soft but showed hints that she was a strong and independent woman.

"Eriol is one of The Head Guardian's sorcerers. They are his special…angels, if you will, that are mortals born with magic. Angels and sorcerers are tightly knitted in the Head Guardian's circle. Eriol is one of the few sorcerers that matched up with angels of my level." Sakura explained.

Tomoyo smiled and nodded in understanding. "You must be the angle the house is talking about."

Sakura blushed.

"KAWAII!" Tomoyo suddenly yelled. "I can't wait to dress you up for tonight! And maybe I'll make you so beautiful that Syaoran will spend the entire night staring at you!"

Syaoran coughed and glared at Tomoyo, who ignored the darts he seemed to be throwing at her.

"Like I would ever want the never so charming prince to look at me! He might hurt me with his glares!" Sakura joked and the two girls left.

**.:At the Party:.**

The Great Angel, Sakura Kinomoto, was bored. She watched as people danced and talked and laughed. She wore a simple off shoulder white gown with subtle pink flowers here and there. She sat alone at a table long deserted and watched as it's previous company danced or had simply disappeared.

There were never parties up there and if parties were anything like this, Sakura never wanted to be at one she decided. Sighing for the millionth time, Sakura turned her gaze to the window where a velvet sky stared back at her. The moon was shining and glowing and she enjoyed the beauty of it. Everything else drowned out, the music and the laughter. She simply enjoyed the night sky because The Great Angel, although happy with her home up in the skies and heavens, also simply loved the beauty the Earth contained. 'How sad that mortals can not enjoy what angels love the most.'

You see, angels are only allowed to stay down on Earth for certain times. Too long and the balance between mortals and angels are tipped and the world will be thrown into chaos. It is also forbidden for mortals and angels to fall in love unless the mortal has very great power within them. Sakura sighed, her mind drifting back to the conversation she had last had with her brother, Touya.

"_You'll have to get married someday, Sakura." His light brown hair and brown eyes stared down at her. His wings were much bigger than hers and she adored them. He wore all white and he had both of his hands in his pockets. A rare sight because one of his hands was always around a specter shaped of a crystal key with a sun._

_Her brother was married to Ruby, his destined counterpart. She held the crystal key of the moon. They were very much in love, even without their destinies entwining each other. _

"_But why?" Sakura asked as she sat down at the edge of the cloud. Slightly beyond the horizon of the cloud, she could see the large crystal gate of the heavens. It was beautiful as it was powerful. It represented Touya's strength. It was adorned with jewels and clouds, birds that flew, and at the corner the sun and the moon next to each other. _

"_Because a lonely existence for an angel is tragic, especially with an angel with such great power. The power slowly consumes the heart without someone to share it with. Without someone to share your heart and some of your power, you will become too powerful and Uncle will be forced to kill you. When you become too strong and your power consumes at your heart, your power becomes too much for you to bear and you will be driven to insanity." _

"_But I can share my heart with you, and daddy, and my friends."_

"_It's different." _

_Sakura sighed and flew off, drifting away from her brother's words. She hadn't found the right one and she knew it was going to be someone from the heavens. _

Sakura couldn't help but wonder if there was anyone out there for her. The angels were too weak to handle her power with her, she had to find someone just as strong as her. But there was no one in the heavens like her. There was no counterpart Great Angel, at least at the moment. It takes several hundred of years to develop angels like herself, her father, Touya, and Ruby.

For a while everyone had thought that Yukito would have been the perfect match for her. He was strong enough to be her match and share her heart along with her power. However they were just friends and when their fortunes were told, it did not connect. So now, Sakura had no one.

So lost in her thoughts, Sakura did not notice someone approach her. He tapped her shoulder and she turned around in surprise.

"I don't think angels are supposed to be left alone too long. They might cry and bring rain to the Earth." His lopsided smile brought a smile to her face too.

"Then what do you suppose I do? Would you like to offer me your enchanting company?"

"Better than just my company, howabout a dance?" His amber eyes glinted with humor and amusement. His hand reached out for her, waiting for her to slip her own in.

He had pulled her close and she was almost tucked right under his chin and shoulder. His hand clasped his gently and a strong arm circled around her waist. They took tiny steps in their dance, circling around gracefully. Sakura closed her eyes and breathed his soft scent. She pressed her cheek against the collar of his tux and moved with the music softly.

Strangely, it felt both right and wrong.

**.:End Chapter:.**

Author's Notes: So how did you guys all like it? How do you guys think I should make them fall in love with each other? Anyways REVIEW

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